'A' is for Team

The first thing you need to do is find the most BAMF outfit you have, and put it on. Go ahead, I'll wait. OK now listen to this. Congratulations, you are now cleared to read this blog post. I'd lik
e to give kudos to Rebecca for making this possible. She generously donated her free ticket to 'La Premiere,' without which I probably would have done something productive with last Friday night, and that would have been truly tragic.

Instead of saving kittens, or fighting crime, or solving the international fiscal crisis, as I typically do on my nights off, I decided that I deserved some R&R, and took one of the most charming people I know out on a date:

Perhaps charming is the wrong word.

Despite the company, the whole experience was really pleasant. Now the free ticket included a free soda, and free popcorn, which was in and of itself quite fantastic. You get to sit in a balcony overlooking the common-folk (who are in considerably less comfortable conditions), in a chair of mildly ridiculous proportions. However, the real special touch to all of this is that they let you order food and, more importantly, wine to be delivered during the movie. The burger and chips were satisfying, but I have concluded that 1 bottle of red wine is precisely the correct amount required to make most nights out a supremely satisfying experience.

Also, they were showing a movie called 'The A-team' during all of this, and that was pretty good as well.

BONUS: Before and after shots of my self-administered haircut (points will be rewarded to anyone who can determine the correct temporal arrangement of the pictures)
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The Culinarian I

Hey kids, welcome to the first installment of:
Where I use a minimal budget, and even less talent to cook food that many would describe as both 'easy to make' and 'edible'! More like incredible!

In today's episode, we're going to turn this:

Into this:
That's right, with a few simple steps, you too can turn a boring set of ingredients into a delicious Breakfast Melt. The total cost of the ingredients (not including condiments and other things of that nature) should not exceed $6 or $7. Remember, whenever possible, buy generic brand items.

What you will need:

• Salt, Pepper, spices to taste (I used garlic salt)
• Olive oil
• Tomato Sauce (or 'Ketchup' for those in the states)
• 3 Eggs
• 1 Can Baked Beans
• 1 Can Corned Beef
• 1 bag Frozen Steak Fries
• Cheese

What you need to do:

1. Microwave 2 large handfuls* of steak fries until mostly thawed (probably ~1:30); mash thoroughly
2. Add corned beef to mashed steak fries, microwave for 1:00 (you have now created 'corned beef hash')
3. Add olive oil to pan, turn stove on to some appropriate egg cooking temperature
4. Add corned beef hash to pan, once you hear crackling, add eggs**
5. Mix thoroughly, keep turning over to allow eggs to cook well
6. Concurrently, microwave baked beans for about 2 min. add half to bottom of deep dish, cover liberally with tomato sauce
7. Once eggs are cooked into corned beef hash, layer this on top of the baked beans in the deep dish with another helping of tomato sauce on top. Keep making alternating layers until the dish is full
8. Add cheese to top, microwave whole thing until cheese is melted and dish is hot throughout (~1 min. should do it)
9. For attractive serving, carefully moderate portion from deep dish, and serve with something healthy (vegetables probably)
10. For fun serving, overturn dish onto plate, dig in right away (see above)

If you have a cheap, easy recipe you want me to attempt cooking, let me know! Who knows when The Culinarian will strike again...

*I don't cook with standard units of measurements. Neither should you!
**I recommend cracking the eggshells and using the interior liquid portion of the egg only, but that's just my personal preference

Melbourne: City of Quality

Melbourne was quite an experience, to say the least. Both for the city itself and the personal events that occurred there. I won't mention anything about the latter except as they pertain to my mindset as I explored the former. Suffice to say that I was not in a stellar mood following the first evening, but despite that I really did enjoy Melbourne itself and getting to hang out with everyone I met/knew there.

I spent the first night at La Trobe University for a 'scribble party' from which I learned two important things:

1. The quality of on-campus parties is one of the few areas where the USA has Australia beat.
   
2. Four Jager bombs and a pitcher of beer may be a good way to start a night, but are not the wisest way to conclude one.

My next day was considerably less eventful, as I didn't feel all that well and ended up sleeping a bunch, but I still managed to climb a few rock-walls despite myself. The next day I spent basically just walking around Melbourne with Eileen, who deserves a special shout out for hosting me for a few nights, and introducing me to a bunch of her friends. She showed me a lot of places, but what sticks out is the Shrine of Remembrance, which was truly stunning. I think standing on top of that building in the rain, looking out over the whole city, filled me with such tranquility and peace that it ended up being the emotional high point of the entire trip*.

The last day I walked around solo, and spent a lot of time in the art gallery. I also visited St. Francis (stayed for a bit of the evening mass, and let me say that sermons delivered in an Australian accent are more humorous than they ought to be). Soon I found my way into a English-style** bar next to an old (now indoor) shot-tower. Some drinks and a lot of cash later I had made friends with a few bartenders and a number of locals, who decided at some point that I was ready to go to the airport, where I slept until my 7AM flight.

I wouldn't feel right without mentioning the main thing that distinguishes Melbourne as a city; that unique touch that sets it apart as a cultural powerhouse. The 7-11. There are multiple locations where you can stand outside of a 7-11... and see another 7-11. Incredible.

*I get this feeling generally from any solemn building, be it a war memorial or some sort of religious construction -in this case though I think it was the contrast to how I had been feeling that made it so spectacular.
**A pint is the correct volume for beer consumption, in case you didn't know

Random Stuff

I figured I should mention now that I'm settling into a rather packed schedule that I plan on updating this once weekly, probably on Sunday. I'll be out of town visiting Melbourne this weekend, so the next full post will be Monday or Tuesday. However, to amuse you in the short term, here is a list of random things I've seen since arriving in Sydney:

• A man standing in the middle of the road wearing a shabby old suit and holding the helm of a small ship. This was quite far from any major body of water.
• About a dozen people in Green Man Suits dancing around Martin Place, each one lettered 'W,' 'n,' 'e,' 'g,' 'i' or 'r.' I can only imagine that they were attempting to say 'Erg Win' -Hooray rowing!
• Two full grown adults beating one another with pool noodles on street corner near a shopping mall. They seemed to be genuinely upset with one another.
• An extreme closeup of a magpie as it slapped me in the face with its wing in a flyby attack, after which it perched on a fence and started yelling at me.
• A fifty-year-old man trying to hit on a Uni student on the bus by talking about power rangers; specifically how his 'favorite' was the silver ranger because he was "you know, not like... an earthling."

Next up: Why Sydney > Melbourne!